My Cancer Experience : Part Five - After treatments and FAQs

Today March 1st 2017 marks five years since I had my last ever chemotherapy treatment..

This isn't the usual way to mark something but I use this to mark it for two reasons one because there wasn't a specific date that I was told ‘you are all clear’ as I had a lot of complications near the end of the 6 month treatment cycle due to the extensive scaring of my lungs and breathing problems I went on to have a series of scans and tests to ensure my lungs were okay after the chemotherapy had long finished and also as the last time I had that needle pumping drugs into my body it felt like more of a landmark to me because it was over.

The reason why five years is such a big landmark is at this stage the chances of it returning drop significantly. This is something that will always be in the back of my mind for the rest of my life but its a little less scary now.

I will put some tips IMO for people going through it or people who know people going through it, I'm not a Dr I'm just throwing ideas out there from my experience.

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So once all of the treatments are over and you just have to go back to see the specialist once in a while you can tell people you're ‘better’ it is very easy to begin to feel lost very fast, you go from being prodded and poked on a daily basis, being asked so many questions about how you've been living your life from your diet to the unmentionables to then go to literally nothing it can be very strange.

In my case within a few months of beginning my treatment I pretty much started to look like my ‘normal’ self again apart from my hair being shorter but my weight was back, I was going out clubbing and socialising like nothing had changed. Nobody would say to look at me that later that week I would be pumped with radioactive drugs and be looking and feeling like fresh hell. Once you start to look better people definitely don't understand and start to under estimate what is really going on because surely somebody who looks how I did at this time couldn't have been going through something so life changing. This is a classic case of not judging a book by it's cover which i'm pretty used to but I could imagine has the possibility to really upset some people.

For around 8-12 months after my treatment had officially ended I was still at a dangerously low level immunity, energy and susceptible to every cold, flu and germ going as well as my lung damage being looked into. Still having to be very careful cleaning everything all the time, limited eating options which was similar to eating like a pregnant lady no raw fish etc and not being able to eat out places (or in my case being extremely careful what I ordered off the menu and where from). Feeling quite nauseous with a motion sickness like feeling from time to time and also still dealing with a lot of mental demons/rapid changes. I wasn't able to go back to work which to most people sounds like heaven it was for the first month or so but there is only so much daytime TV and shopping one person can do before you just want to scream. The whole diagnosis, treatment and recovery process left me out of work for almost 2 years by which time I was itching to get back to normal life however I was very much restricted my job I had at the time had involved a lot of lifting, running up and down stairs and getting up very early which looking back now I probably would have done myself more harm than good had my Dr let me go back as much as I loved that job this was not something I was able to go back to even a year later. The job was far too strenuous and the damage to my lungs would mean it would take a while before I could even think about being that active again.

Some of the things I had to do whilst I was ill I shouldn't really have been doing but needs must I lived on my own so I still had to cook, clean and do my shopping as I didn't have anybody to really help me at all.

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This experience has taught me many things including what I am capable of mentally and physically as a person had you told me 6 years ago I would have gone through such a tough time and still come out the other side the person I am today I would have laughed out loud. If I can look after myself to the level I had to and remain positive through this the trivial things I may get complacent about now aren't even comparable. We all have bad days and even I forget how far I have come from time to time we all do.

Two years after my last treatment I took part in the cancer research race for life with my mum to raise money for cancer research. Two of my colleagues are doing walks/runs for cancer research if you want to donate at all.

Sarahs Page

Carly's Page

I tell every person that I discuss this with that I truly believe my positive attitude played a huge factor of me getting through one of the worlds deadliest illnesses the way I did.

I laughed, I cried, Sometimes I wanted to give up all together but I have to be grateful because so many people don’t make it and get diagnosed too late to even try. I am so lucky.

The love of my life aka my grandad died of lung cancer when I was 11 I never thought I would one day go through a similar experience as him. Its unfortunate that so many people are affected by cancer in their lifetime in one way or another. I have friends who are without parents, children, siblings and friends because of cancer my heart goes out to each and every one of them.

At times I am not entirely sure why me to be honest but It is not something that I am unappreciative of ever, I try to go forward in life knowing this is a second chance.

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Tips and advice:

Suffers and Survivors - 

• Take somebody with you to the hospital who is going to get you laughing again, we all have friends and family members for different occasions. I couldn't have go through those long hospital days without my strong mother who laughed along with me to stop us both from crying instead.
• Also prepare yourself with loads of ‘things to do’ books, colouring, a tablet, handheld console or simply a pen and paper.
• It’s scary and it might feel like you're the only person in the world going through it but don’t push your loved ones away because they don't totally understand, they are not hurting the same but they most likely are in their own way.
• If you have the money to look online (amazon,ebay etc) or go to a local beauty supply store and look for lace front or full lace wigs. The NHS wigs are free and will do but they are synthetic hair and bulky. There are various videos on YouTube about making wig look natural, reviews of suppliers and how to style them. They range anything from about £40+ depending on what you want.
• Speak to or visit the site for Macmillan cancer support they are honestly so helpful, knowledgeable, have so much literature and advice that they can offer you and your loved ones with.

Friends and family: 

• If ever there is a time to just do the most random stuff with the person going through this, the time is now. Depending on how they are feeling go out to do activities, have a movie night/sleep over, take a mini breakaway. Most importantly have a conversation. 
• When they are in this bubble of not able to be ‘normal’ it is so easy for people to shut each other out and avoid talking this is not the best way for all.
• Let the person know that you are there for them, with all of the things that come along with having cancer they may not want to be a burden or ask.
• Don’t treat them like they are dying.
• Macmillan and the hospital counsellors are there for you aswell not just the person affected by the cancer definitely take a look what they have to offer if not for yourself for the person who is ill and may not be able to look into these things themselves.

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If anybody has any questions at all, I’m always happy to share my experience or help anybody if I can. Email me at: yellauxbusiness@gmail.com or if you have me on any social media feel free to message me. Never think that it is something I wouldn't want to help with or talk about, If my experience can help anybody I am more than happy to discuss.

I’m also so very grateful for anybody who has taken their time out to read any or all of this series. I know everything is video based these days but I’m not confident enough and my accent is not the best for me to be doing all that but thank you, spread the knowledge and I pray this is not something any of you or your loved ones have to ever go through.

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Links to the other parts of this series:

Part One : Discovering a problem

Part Two: Finding out and telling others 

Part Three: Treatments and scans
Part Four: Chemotherapy and side effects.

Macmillan's website

Information in this post is of my personal experience and may differ from other cases.

My Cancer Experience : Part Two - Finding Out & Telling Others

If you know me separate to stumbling across my blog you may know that I went through a battle with cancer a few years ago. This was initially my motivation for starting my blog to give people going through it, friends and family of those going through it or those who have been through it some information and an insight.

I did do an initial post talking about how I discovered something was wrong with me, which you can find here.

This post will be about my experiences telling other people and how other people treated me.

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Disclaimer: This is in no way me pointing fingers at people in a malicious way. I just want to highlight to you all that this can happen to any of us or any of our loved ones I was only 23. I want to bring to light how I personally felt and how it could be handled differently by myself and others.

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Finding out myself:

After taking myself to hospital (as per my last post) going through the process of people of having blood tests, CT scans etc over the course of 24 hours. I was stuck in the hospital alone as the hospital I was in didn't have the best visiting hours.

I have this issue I come across often in life where because I look very young for my age people tent to not divulge any information to me directly and wait for my Mum to arrive or somebody that looks older than me. Which when it comes to something like this is very out of order. It's my body and my life any information you have should be given to me directly what if I didn't have a mother or friends to pop in and pass on the message to me.

Anyway I digress.. So randomly in the middle of the day a Dr pulled up to my bedside with 4 student nurses like 'Is it okay if these student nurses sit in while I have a chat with you' at this point I had no idea what was up with me so I agreed. In very little words he basically told me, we believe at this point you have Hodgkin's Lymphoma and will be looking into this further. 

Now I am not a nurse or doctor and this is not something that they teach you in science GCSE so as they all gawped at me waiting for some sort a reaction I was like 'okay' and they shortly left.

I obviously jumped straight on to my phone and googled it.. bad idea! I was instantly bombarded with CANCER & DEATH. In hindsight now my next step was not the best.. but I panicked. I phoned my mum and I literally only said 'Mum. I think I'm going to die.. I have cancer' and burst into tears for the first time. Looking back now I can only imagine my poor mother's whole heart probably sunk into her stomach and smashed into a million pieces on hearing this from her only child but honestly based on the little information I had this was what I was thinking. The Dr had just delivered this life changing information to me so lightly with no loved ones around, student nurses looking at me blankly and didn't provide any further information or 'dumb it down' for me at all.

My mum instantly asked me what was said and ended the call to look into it further. To this day I've never asked her what happened after she hung up I was not in a good place myself at that point. Stuck in a curtained off hospital bed on my own with nobody around me having googled what was wrong with me and assuming the worst.

There was no more visiting hours on the ward after this point so I was left to ponder this information over night. After crying myself to sleep numerous times during the evening I had the joy of being stuck in a ward with five other women screaming and moaning in various pains throughout the night.

The very next day my lovely 5ft0 mother steamed down to the hospital to see me and demand more information. At this point all we knew was it was cancer and it was of the blood.

Eventually after having further tests, heated conversations and scans we got the information that is was stage two Hodgkin's throughout my body most around my lungs (which is why I now have slight lung damage and get chest pains if I do too much) 

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Sharing the news & people finding out:

I personally didn't tell many people face to face I just put it out on my facebook as a short status that this is what is happening to me at the moment and If people can understand why I may not be my normal happy self that would be great. Initially as you can imagine I was inundated with lovely messages and offers of help should they be required.

Finding out what was wrong with me and having an idea of what was to come I decided to hand in my notice at work as I didn't really want to get into the nitty gritty of it with work people who didn't really care for me. So I immediately left work I had not long left my mother's home and got my own place in which I was in a 12 month tenancy for my landlord literally was no help at all and refused to let me out of the tenancy even knowing my illness. So I was stuck with the apartment and no job to pay for it, with the looming idea of going through cancer treatment ahead.

I'll be honest with you not one single person offered to help me, offered me a sofa or a spare room.. but hey. I have been through many bad things in my life and have had to get through it with little or no help so tbh I just got on with it and thought I'll cross that proverbial bridge should I get to it.

During the whole time I was ill and having treatment I would say I lost 95% of my 'close' friends. I'm not sure if they detached themselves because they were scared, because the didn't want to deal with or didn't know how to approach the situation.

Some friends even assumed I would lose my hair and be so ill I wouldn't fit the aesthetic to be seen out with me. People stopped communicating with me and even got upset with me if I wasn't up to attending social events.

I literally had a friend fall out with me because I said 'I might not be able to come out for your birthday night out I will have to see how I feel nearer the day as Chemotherapy can throw me about abit' her response to this was 'You use cancer as an excuse for everything your selfish' True story. Let's just say I am no longer friends with the person to this day for this and many other reasons.

People who I used to spend many days of the week with suddenly lost my number. It showed me that at a time like this you really see who is there 100%.. In my case not many unfortunately.

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Dear Friends and Family:

If one of your loved ones has the misfortune of going through this tough experience (which I hope they never do) I honestly urge you to be there for them in any way you can, because it is something that I would never want anybody else to go through. 

Having not one sole person to turn to when going through this was the hardest part of my experience. If you never put in any effort before or ever again this is the time; make them feel loved, offer positive words, provide them with your company, keep them distracted from what is going on even for a moment. 

Cancer treatment for me and others I have spoken to about it is a very lonely time and the little bit of help I did receive during this time is remembered. 
( I will go into this further next post)


We ( i am guilty too) put so much time in to showing out for social media, taking selfies, working our asses off and even being bored. 

Karma is in your control too, if god forbid you were to take ill:
How many people would legit be there for you? How many people owe you one? 

Before this happened to me I would have sworn up and down everyone would have had my back. Incorrect!

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Thank you in particular to my friends Brina, Faye & Stella who had sleep overs with me, got me out the house & brought me a greggs cakes in the morning etc. Never unappreciated. 

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If you are from the UK and you are dealing with or know somebody who is dealing with the affects of cancer. I urge you to get in contact with Macmillan cancer trust. They honest offered me so much help and support. More than I could have ever imagined.

(I have not been sponsored or asked to say this,  this is from my own experience. I don't have that much influence lol)

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My Cancer Experience: Part One - Discovering A Problem

As I mentioned briefly in my first new post, I will be blogging about my experience with Cancer.

I will divide this over a few posts about the stags I personally experienced: 

Finding out, Diagnosis, Treatment, Life after cancer and any tips I can think of for family, friends and patients 

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So my story begins:

In Early 2012, I was working a full time job at River Island. It was a different role abit more physically than I was used to. I noticed that I was losing weight even though nothing in my diet had really changed. I put this down to the fact that I was now running up and down 6 flights of stairs about 16+ times a day and moving heavy boxes of clothes around.
One of my friends literally said to me once 'What is going on with you, you look anorexic' looking back now I did look ill but as I see myself every day I didn't really notice.

Shortly after this I developed a pain in my diaphragm (just where your ribs stop in the middle) and I had developed a pea sized lump under my left armpit. It was hard and I could move it around.

Growing up it has been promoted to teenage girls to get any lump checked out, so I went down to my local NHS walk in centre as I wasn't yet registered at a local doctor due to moving house.

The doctor advised me that the pain in my diaphragm was Indigestion and the lump was breast change. Being 22 at this point I was silently sure that I knew this wasn't right and that I'd hit puberty long enough ago to know what 'Breast change' would feel like.

But this person is a qualified doctor who am I to question them, so off I went with my prescription for Gaviscon.

Six months later after completing the prescribed Gaviscon and 2 stone lighter than I had been most of my life. I still had the Lump, the diaphragm pain and I had now developed a dry cough which had lasted months, no flu symptoms etc.

So I returned to the same doctors as they had previously seen me for this problem.. again the prescribed me another course of Gaviscon. I took this home but I did not carry out the course as I was positive I was being mis-diagnosed.

A week after my 23rd birthday I woke up to a crushing pain feeling like I was being pushed in my back and chest at the same time. I took myself to A&E where I under went a CT scan and had to stay over night. The next day I was diagnosed with having Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Which I would later find out that I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma (Blood cancer) at stage 2 and that had I been brought in a year earlier when I first went to the NHS walk in centre I may have been at an earlier stage.

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My next post's will be about: My experience with telling other people, treatment and the aftermath.