Letter To My Ex..

This post is inspired by a video I saw by ShanBoody, where she did a verbal letter to 4 exes.

This isn't a 'letter' to slam anybody's character or discredit anybody.

Just a brief address to a couple of exes in no particular order and no names. I guess if they were to ever read it they may realise it's about them buy I don't feel that would be an issue as I'm not about to slander anybody. Just thought I would give it a try.. bants.

♥

Dear Ex.. Our relationship grew from a friendship, I believe that we both knew at that time without even saying so that we surely can't just be friends our vibe is not the same as others. Our level of love for each other was something that even our friends could see was undeniable because they were a driving force setting us up to be in places, rooms, events & conversations together.

Through over a decade of knowing each other not necessarily always speaking frequently you have always been a person I know in my heart although I have never tested it that I could count on no matter what be that giving me advise, talking about cars or if I was stranded in the middle of nowhere and needed help. I truly believe if it wasn't for an ex-girlfriend intervening day in and day out and rumours of me being interested in somebody what we had could have been amazing.

To be totally honest I am not sure why we never really discussed why it went the way it did, we still remained quite close friends for so long afterwards.

Anybody that knows you knows that you are an amazing talented special soul. I have been sad to learn of the way people have taken advantage of that. You have/will always hold a special place in my heart because of who you are and because you are 100% the one that got away. I will always support you, want to know you and pop up on WhatsApp just to say hey because I care, I have always and will always care.

♥

Dear Ex.. This is not the first time I have written you a letter, just a different type. Throughout high school you were the best friend I had. I have never met anybody else that I could literally talk to for 7 hours a day on the phone, 7 days a week after spending every available moment with till this day. Never in a million years did I think the person I was best friends with most of my life would turn into a relationship years down the line out of the blue.

I cannot fault our relationship at that time in any way whatsoever. You always treated me with love, respect, admiration and most of all with the appreciation that I was the best friend you had had for all these years not somebody new. Even our break up was fine which is probably why we are still able to be friends.

Over 15 years on, time spent away and only one argument ever I wonder had that one choice have been different where the friendship or relationship would have lead. I respect the love you have for your children and the honesty we have no matter the time, place or subject.

You will always be my homie no matter who is around and I will always be here for you whether you are up or down.

♥

Dear Ex.. I wish you nothing but happiness, good health and prosperity :)

♥

That was actually quite therapeutic to do, no drafting up an idea just writing away like a proper letter. 

My Cancer Experience : Part Four - Chemotheraphy and symptoms

Growing up my top three biggest fears were losing my hair, not having children and of course losing loved ones.

Unfortunately two out of three of these were things that I would have to face like it or not during this battle.

graphic topics labeled with*

♥

Infertility: 

If you know me outside of work/the internet/clubs you will know I love all of the kids in my family, of my friends dearly and my long term goal has always been to become a primary school teacher. I have always wanted children of my own and still do hopefully one day. 

Of all of the things that ran through my mind when I find out I had cancer I wasn't even aware that fertility could be affected by cancer treatments whatsoever it just isn't something that you associate with it or hear much about. So you can imagine when I was told that this is a possibility I was heart broken to say the least. At the time I found out the severity of this I was in a room with this Dr and my mum as if this big bomb shell wasn't just dropped on me the Dr then immediately proceeded to discuss things like freezing eggs and the process. 

I was extremely overwhelmed by all the information I wasn't expecting to be getting on this day and very upset however I instantly had a new found respect for anybody who goes through IVF as it is not an easy process at all. It is not as simple as having the money and all that designer baby stuff that we are lead to believe. Amongst other things you have to inject yourself daily, record all these things about your body in detail, to have the egg fertilised on the NHS they have all these criteria you and your partner have to meet you would honesty think you were adopting not using your own eggs.

I was sure this was not something that I would be willing to put myself through right now to have the eggs taken when I was still mentally preparing myself for the start of the chemotherapy so opted to pass. What will be will be, if I am supposed to have children I will if not I will love my god babies, nieces and nephews like they are my own and look into adoption possibly.

I will say that this is something that years on every day still haunts my thoughts. My goals in life have never really been heavily about earning loads of money, having possessions or travelling. I just always wanted to work, own a home and be a good wife and mother.

♥

Hair loss: 

If you speak to most people these days and mention something like a hair dresser cutting more that a millimetre of their hair off you can literally see them cringe right in front of you, nobody wants to lose any hair no matter how much you have. I have always had very long hair since I was a small child always down to the bottom of my back at least and i’d never been one to do anything drastic to it; When I was about 18 I dyed it pink underneath but thats as wild as I got.

When I found out I had cancer I immediately though I'm going to be sick looking and bald. I wasn't ready for this and the thought of having to wear a wig honestly conjured up all kinds of visions in my mind. Although I am no stranger to things of that nature due to being in a black family which is predominantly women and I had previously used partial weaves, clip ins and glued in some tracks but this had always been an optional extra and I was free to take them out at my will and still have hair.

To most people who knew me at this time and to my own surprise this part was something I came around to the idea of quite quickly and pretty much just thought if this is whats happening there is no point trying to fight it. Around two weeks after my first treatment I went to a local barbers a few streets away and got a section of my hair shaved off of the side (Cassie Ventura style) The guy in there was not trying to do it for me whatsoever, I didn't tell him why I was doing it I just said ‘Look, i’ve come here on my own. I haven't bought anybody for moral support this is my decision and I want it off’ eventually and very skeptically he did it (I will attach some pictures below) the next day I had to attend my Aunts wedding in huddersfield and i’m sure my my family who at this point didn't know anything about me being ill must have thought I was totally crazy. 

The first time I noticed a big change wasn't a good experience at all as I rinsed my hair one day which I opted to wash over a bath incase of such occurrence I literally just saw so much of my hair flowing down the bath with the flow of the water. I burst into tears wet hair and all and honestly just sobbed till my hair was nearly dry. I lived on my own at the time and didn't really have anybody to call who I believed would support me. I eventually just went to bed and avoided the mirror at all costs for a few days because I didn't know what to expect.

As my treatments went on I would be so anxious to brush my remaining hair and even waking up every morning I expected to see my whole hair on the pillow next to me, this never happened. It just shed and broke off way more than normal.. after around three months I ended up with really thin hair at the bottom just above shoulder length and it pretty much stayed this way for the rest of my treatment time so I was never bald. It took my hair about a year to grow back, thick and not breaking off and now almost 5 years on my hair is longer than it was before I was ill and in better condition as all the years of my my mum relaxing it and me straightening had long gone.

The hospital do offer a wig fitting service they give you a free wig if you want one and they will even cut it for you, but the options are not the best and for some reason the woman decided a nice Rihanna red would suit me, which I was thankful for but also glad I didn't have to use. Me and my mum did take a nice little day trip to the local “black hair shop” aka beauty supply shops one of the days we had a laugh trying on all kinds of wigs and giving our best Tina turner impressions which I will say lifted my spirits and made me feel slightly better about what options were available to me.

They do also have the option at the hospital to have a ‘cold cap’, this is a gel filled cap you wear during and for a while after your treatment and it is said to reduce the amount of the chemotherapy that reaches your hair follicles. I didn't try this as I had already accepted my fate with my hair. If it works is very much on a case by case basis i've not met anybody who has used one so can't say first hand if this is a good option.

As well as losing your hair on your head you can also potentially lose hair on your entire body head to toe… yes everywhere. In some cases people are said to have different hair colour and/or texture grow back.

Here are some pictures of my hair journey at this time: 

Picture one: is when I shaved half and you can see some of my actual hair at the time.

Picture two: my hair 6 months after and 2 years after last treatment

♥

Chemotherapy treatment*:

I myself was on a trial treatment call ABVD (Adriamycin, Blemycin, Vinblastine, Dacarbazine) minus the B as I had a high presence of cancer in my lungs which the Blemycin could have reacted badly, as a side effect of this is lung damage which the Dr’s felt they did not want to chance as I would already have a chance of this anyway.

Other side affects may also include: Nausea, Vomiting, Low blood count, Allergic reactions, Neuropathy & Infertility.

At the hospital dependant on your state you either sit in a chair or stay in a hospital bed if your are unable to walk/sit etc. Some people have a permanent line put in their vein usually in the chest area or just a standard cannula which is that thing they put in your vein on the back of your hand and put the big sticker over it to keep it still. You may have seen on TV or had one where they can attach a bag and pump things in to your blood stream. As my treatment was bi-weekly I didn't need a line put in so they would give me a fresh cannula every time I went. This sometimes leaves you with a bit of a bruise for a day or two and on one occasion I had a student nurse spray my blood like a horror movie around the cubicle.

They then hook you up to the machine and you literally get pumped with the various drugs one by one, some are just in a small tube that they combine with the fluids, some have to be protected from day light and some make your urine pink. It’s all quite strange feeling and experiencing but interesting, unfortunately I was not allowed to have anybody sat with me whilst I had this I believe due to the radiation so my mum would disappear for a few hours and come back for me later.

I soon learnt to take a big bag of stuff to do iPad, BlackBerry etc and the nurses kept me tea fuelled. 

The whole process takes a 2-3 hours all together then in my case free to go about the rest of my day I just had to be mindful that I may start to feel nauseous and weak so would often just go home to relax.

There are some strange side affects you get while having the treatments; mine was mainly the feeling of instantly being itchy over you whole body and some of the drugs were very cold when they go through your body. Also TMI** one makes your urine pink.

♥

Hospital trips:

During my diagnosis, treatment and after care I spent a lot of time at three different hospitals the furthest being around 15 miles away, Approximately 30-40 visits in a 6 month period. Once all of this is over I then had to attend every bi-monthly for blood checks, to be weighed and to check my general health after a year this is reduced to every 4-6 months now 5 years on I have an annual check.

So the hospital appointments don't just stop at your last treatment.

Only one of the hospitals gave us a discount for parking which as you can imagine visiting that often never for short periods of time we ended up spending a lot on over priced parking.

The staff at Wolverhampton hospital I cannot fault one bit they made such a bad time for both me and my mum easier, always willing to help and spoke to me like I was an adult and with empathy. Whereas the hospital I was diagnosed at it was quite a hellish experience I was often stuck in rooms with 5 or very elderly very sick patients who kept me up all night and not being kept informed at all of what was going on until my mum turned up and they would tell her the information.

♥

Nausea:

For a few days after each course of the treatment you can experience severe nausea and vomiting as a side affect of the drugs. I only experienced nausea on a few occasions very lightly.

♥

Eating/Diet: 

If you do suffer from nausea you are advised to eat things such as baby food.. because it has a decent amount of nutrition without having any strong harsh flavour for your stomach or to come back up.

As I was a stone and a half under my original weight if I could eat it is best to eat higher calorie foods to try to gain weight so cheese on everything, all the foods you would normally eat in small doses are a go to gain the weight back which along with the steroids to help the chemotherapy didn't take long to return at all.

The only other things about the diet you have to avoid is things like blue cheese and raw food due to your white blood cells being low and being prone to illness easier.

♥

Links to the other parts of this series:

Part One : Discovering a problem

Part Two: Finding out and telling others 
Part Three: Treatments and Scans.

information in this post is of my personal experience and may differ from other cases.

My Cancer Experience : Part Three - Treatments

Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, this information is going on what I know to be true and went through.

 This may differ slightly on a case by case basis but this is the general idea.

Also, this post is going to give details of treatments (no nasty pictures) but I will put a * next to the title if it has any graphic details in.

♥

People don’t know much about the treatment for cancer and the fact that you have to go through so many steps before you even get to the actual chemotherapy.

Weight loss/gain:

Since I hit puberty I have always been on or around 8 st, I could literally eat whatever I wanted and not lose or put on very much weight at all. I presume youth had a part to play in that.

As I was going through the year of feeling ill and trying to find out what was wrong with me I went down to 7st at my lowest and then due to the steroids in the chemotherapy treatment I very quickly gained back the weight and some unfortunately going up to around 12st which you can imagine was crazy for me who has always been used to being naturally slim-ish. I’m still dealing with the affects the steroids had on my body and getting used to being more cautious about what I eat etc.

This is something most people deal with at some point in there life unfortunately for me it was in my early 20s instead of the old ‘middle age spread’.

Blood transfusion:

During my stay in the first hospital where they were trying to discover what was up with me I had to have a blood transfusion. I've always had low iron, mild anaemia and I was born jaundice so being ill led to me having to have the blood transfusion as I was very weak. This wasn't painful just annoying because I had to sleep with this thing pumping loudly next to me, with one arm attached to it. I sleep on my front and this was not possible with a drip attached to me. A few hours in it beeps for the nurse to change the bag.

We can safely say I didn't get much sleep that night &, also now I can't donate blood which I would love to do as this helped me. If you are able to donate blood I would definitely say go for it. I know its cheesy to say but it can literally save somebody life or like me be a step towards being able to get the treatment they need. :(

*Lump removal:

I had two types of lump removal so I will go through both.

The operation type of removal I was put to sleep for so I obviously didn't feel any of it. They try to make the incision in a natural body crease to camouflage it, in my case it was in the crease of my armpit (it doesn’t blend in at all lol). The worst parts of this is having to go through the operation process so not eating for 8 hours prior and I had to deal with the bandages under my arm for a week.

Unfortunately for me my nerves were damaged during this for about 3 months after the operation I had light pins and needles in my upper arm and I now have very little feeling in the top of my one arm, so if you ever tap me on my left side and I don't respond now you know why. Nearly 5 years on the scar is still visible but I very rarely have my armpit up in the air so it doesn't bother me too much, f you ever see me in person you are more than welcome to have a look.

The quick biopsy type this is the first type of lump removal I had just to test the lump and have a better look at what was going on. Mine was in the area between my armpit & side boob, they inject you with a little local anaesthetic and then (this is going to sound crazy) use a little hole punch machine to make a hole in your skin to get to the lump.

Sounds way worse than it is, I literally felt nothing. She put one of those lame lil circle plasters on it and I was on my way.

I literally couldn't point out now where it was, there is no scar at all. It's more painful to get your ears pierced than to have that done.

C.T (computed tomography) scans:

I have lost count of the amount of times I've had this type of scan done. This is the one that you usually see on TV where you lie on the bed and the bed goes through a big circle (bad explanation, I will try and find a picture and attach it below) let me first of all tell you that how it is shown on TV is so false and misses out most of the detail. 

First of all you are in one of those dreadful thin hospital robes and the room is always cold AF. 

Then dependant on what they are scanning they have to inject this dye into your system which is freezing cold, you can feel it weirdly running through your blood stream and then all of a sudden it randomly feels like you have wet yourself for a few seconds. No exaggeration I even used to set myself up for it knowing it was coming but still felt like I’d pissed myself. Glamorous I know.

If that isn't enough you get onto the bed and they strap you down with these big Velcro straps tightly and wedge a big piece of triangle foam under the crook of your leg or around your head like a if you were on a stretcher. 

If that's not uncomfortable enough for you they tell you to lie still, but relax and you can close your eyes if you wish. Whilst this bed goes back and forth for minutes through that loop and the little lasers flicker around you.. right really feels like your at the spa, NOT. If your claustrophobic this is close to your worst nightmare.

Picture above from:  Cancer Research UK

Here is one of my CT scans:

P.E.T (positron emission tomography) scans:

The PET scan is very similar to the CT scan but the lead up process is slightly different. I’ve had about four of this type of scan over a year. Your not to eat a few hours leading up to this type of scan but you can have water.

A good tip if you are going for this scan which I did each time, If you wear lose clothes with no metal parts they will usually allow you to keep your own clothes on instead of the glam hospital gown so I would wear a sports bra and leggings and they were always fine with that.

This scan takes about two hours as when you get there they inject you with the radioactive tracer dye which absorbs with the natural glucose in your blood and organs to give a clearer view of your entire body. For this to take good affect you would be asked to lie down in the room for about an hour not completely still but just relax, you can drink water and go to the toilet if need be. The hospital I went to said I can bring CD’s with me which I was able to listen to while I lay down and during the actual scan which is nice rather than sitting in silence for what feels like forever.

After the hour as with the CT scan you go into another room, where they strap you in to the bed and go back and forth while the lasers and machine do the magic then you are free to go.

As this type of scan involves radio active fluid you would need to avoid contact with pregnant women, children and elderly for about 24 hours.

*Bone marrow removal:

By far the most painful thing I have experienced to this day, if you have had an epidural then its basically that.

So in my case they needed to take a sample of my bone marrow to determine how far through my body the cancer was. They explained the process to me and in my mind it seemed pretty straight forward.

On the day the doctor asked if I was okay to have a student nurse in so I agreed. I was made to lie on the bed in the foetal position the bars were up on the bed that's when I realised stuff was going to get real.

They then have to numb your lower back/spine as this where they will be taking the bone marrow from. I was not ready for this.. they injected the needle into my spine then it feels like your back is bubbling inside like it may pop like a champagne bottle. I nearly jumped off the bed into my mums lap. They then put this long needle into your back through to the spine and they have to turn it to break through your spine bone my back hurts just thinking about it. Once they are done extracting the bone marrow they let you go.

I asked the doctor to take a look at what they had taken expecting after all that trauma to see a big chuck of my back in the cup it was literally a thin string about 2cm long.

♥

Before I started writing this I didn't realise exactly how much there was to write about these things so I will divide this into two parts.

The next post will be about: The actual chemotherapy and the side affects.

♥

Links to the other parts of this series:

Part One : Discovering a problem

Part Two: Finding out and telling others 

information in this post is of my personal experience and may differ from other cases.

My Cancer Experience : Part Two - Finding Out & Telling Others

If you know me separate to stumbling across my blog you may know that I went through a battle with cancer a few years ago. This was initially my motivation for starting my blog to give people going through it, friends and family of those going through it or those who have been through it some information and an insight.

I did do an initial post talking about how I discovered something was wrong with me, which you can find here.

This post will be about my experiences telling other people and how other people treated me.

♥

Disclaimer: This is in no way me pointing fingers at people in a malicious way. I just want to highlight to you all that this can happen to any of us or any of our loved ones I was only 23. I want to bring to light how I personally felt and how it could be handled differently by myself and others.

♥

Finding out myself:

After taking myself to hospital (as per my last post) going through the process of people of having blood tests, CT scans etc over the course of 24 hours. I was stuck in the hospital alone as the hospital I was in didn't have the best visiting hours.

I have this issue I come across often in life where because I look very young for my age people tent to not divulge any information to me directly and wait for my Mum to arrive or somebody that looks older than me. Which when it comes to something like this is very out of order. It's my body and my life any information you have should be given to me directly what if I didn't have a mother or friends to pop in and pass on the message to me.

Anyway I digress.. So randomly in the middle of the day a Dr pulled up to my bedside with 4 student nurses like 'Is it okay if these student nurses sit in while I have a chat with you' at this point I had no idea what was up with me so I agreed. In very little words he basically told me, we believe at this point you have Hodgkin's Lymphoma and will be looking into this further. 

Now I am not a nurse or doctor and this is not something that they teach you in science GCSE so as they all gawped at me waiting for some sort a reaction I was like 'okay' and they shortly left.

I obviously jumped straight on to my phone and googled it.. bad idea! I was instantly bombarded with CANCER & DEATH. In hindsight now my next step was not the best.. but I panicked. I phoned my mum and I literally only said 'Mum. I think I'm going to die.. I have cancer' and burst into tears for the first time. Looking back now I can only imagine my poor mother's whole heart probably sunk into her stomach and smashed into a million pieces on hearing this from her only child but honestly based on the little information I had this was what I was thinking. The Dr had just delivered this life changing information to me so lightly with no loved ones around, student nurses looking at me blankly and didn't provide any further information or 'dumb it down' for me at all.

My mum instantly asked me what was said and ended the call to look into it further. To this day I've never asked her what happened after she hung up I was not in a good place myself at that point. Stuck in a curtained off hospital bed on my own with nobody around me having googled what was wrong with me and assuming the worst.

There was no more visiting hours on the ward after this point so I was left to ponder this information over night. After crying myself to sleep numerous times during the evening I had the joy of being stuck in a ward with five other women screaming and moaning in various pains throughout the night.

The very next day my lovely 5ft0 mother steamed down to the hospital to see me and demand more information. At this point all we knew was it was cancer and it was of the blood.

Eventually after having further tests, heated conversations and scans we got the information that is was stage two Hodgkin's throughout my body most around my lungs (which is why I now have slight lung damage and get chest pains if I do too much) 

♥

Sharing the news & people finding out:

I personally didn't tell many people face to face I just put it out on my facebook as a short status that this is what is happening to me at the moment and If people can understand why I may not be my normal happy self that would be great. Initially as you can imagine I was inundated with lovely messages and offers of help should they be required.

Finding out what was wrong with me and having an idea of what was to come I decided to hand in my notice at work as I didn't really want to get into the nitty gritty of it with work people who didn't really care for me. So I immediately left work I had not long left my mother's home and got my own place in which I was in a 12 month tenancy for my landlord literally was no help at all and refused to let me out of the tenancy even knowing my illness. So I was stuck with the apartment and no job to pay for it, with the looming idea of going through cancer treatment ahead.

I'll be honest with you not one single person offered to help me, offered me a sofa or a spare room.. but hey. I have been through many bad things in my life and have had to get through it with little or no help so tbh I just got on with it and thought I'll cross that proverbial bridge should I get to it.

During the whole time I was ill and having treatment I would say I lost 95% of my 'close' friends. I'm not sure if they detached themselves because they were scared, because the didn't want to deal with or didn't know how to approach the situation.

Some friends even assumed I would lose my hair and be so ill I wouldn't fit the aesthetic to be seen out with me. People stopped communicating with me and even got upset with me if I wasn't up to attending social events.

I literally had a friend fall out with me because I said 'I might not be able to come out for your birthday night out I will have to see how I feel nearer the day as Chemotherapy can throw me about abit' her response to this was 'You use cancer as an excuse for everything your selfish' True story. Let's just say I am no longer friends with the person to this day for this and many other reasons.

People who I used to spend many days of the week with suddenly lost my number. It showed me that at a time like this you really see who is there 100%.. In my case not many unfortunately.

♥

Dear Friends and Family:

If one of your loved ones has the misfortune of going through this tough experience (which I hope they never do) I honestly urge you to be there for them in any way you can, because it is something that I would never want anybody else to go through. 

Having not one sole person to turn to when going through this was the hardest part of my experience. If you never put in any effort before or ever again this is the time; make them feel loved, offer positive words, provide them with your company, keep them distracted from what is going on even for a moment. 

Cancer treatment for me and others I have spoken to about it is a very lonely time and the little bit of help I did receive during this time is remembered. 
( I will go into this further next post)


We ( i am guilty too) put so much time in to showing out for social media, taking selfies, working our asses off and even being bored. 

Karma is in your control too, if god forbid you were to take ill:
How many people would legit be there for you? How many people owe you one? 

Before this happened to me I would have sworn up and down everyone would have had my back. Incorrect!

♥

Thank you in particular to my friends Brina, Faye & Stella who had sleep overs with me, got me out the house & brought me a greggs cakes in the morning etc. Never unappreciated. 

♥

If you are from the UK and you are dealing with or know somebody who is dealing with the affects of cancer. I urge you to get in contact with Macmillan cancer trust. They honest offered me so much help and support. More than I could have ever imagined.

(I have not been sponsored or asked to say this,  this is from my own experience. I don't have that much influence lol)

♥

Kylie Jenner x Matte lip kits

As you may already know by now I have a thing for Lip sticks/liners/glosses etc

So it only made sense that I attempt to get my hands on some of the infamous 

'Kylie Cosmetics : Matte Lip kits'

♥

The first time I tried to order from the site I ended up ordering two of the same colour separately and incurred two lots of custom fee's. Not happy at all.

I received my two lots of 'True brown K' and when they came I really didn't love the colour next to my skin tone so didn't even try them on especially not enough to pay two lots of customs fees.

So I gave up on them and carried on with life. As I do follow Kylie on Instagram I was aware of all the different shades coming out and saw many swatches and youtube beauty 'guru's wearing them in tutorials. I eventually caved one night and was surprise how easy I found the process this time around.

I got myself five colours: 

♥

Here is a look at them individually including what you get in the box:

♥

Posie K & Dolce K are my favourite thus far. I have worn Dolce K abit more as it is close to my daily colours I wear at work. They go matte real fast and are very pigmented. Honestly, one application and I still have it on when I go to bed.

God forbid I do have my micellar water with me it would still be on when I woke up.

The brush is just the right size and shape, i despise those weird eye shaped brushes you get in some lip products these brushes are great for drawing on your lip shape with ease.

The colours are true to how they look in the tube but not true to the colour on the box. 

They cost $29 each + $14.95 shopping & £13-17 custom fee per box, I'll let you do the maths because I don't want to think of how much i've spent then it never really happened lol

Below are the tubes all next to each other to show that they aren't all the same colour as some people are stating.

(l-r: Koko, Dolce, Candy, Posie & Kourt)

I've also got some of the glosses but I will post about these separately.

♥

(prices and details correct at time of publishing. This is not a sponsored post)

Reduce your wardrobe, but stay stylish.

I have a real big neat freak problem but really try to keep my wardrobe flexible for all occasions. I like to go through my wardrobe/drawers every so often have a clear out.

If you currently have an over packed wardrobe, always seem to have 'nothing to wear' even though you're always shopping I urge you to go through you stuff twice a year and throw out things you haven't worn in over a year, that do not fit, with tags still on and things that are damaged.

Stop holding onto things that are blocking you from using the rest of your wardrobe. 

If they are pricey item consider selling them online or to friends/family.


♥

The money I would usually put aside for new clothes monthly I am going to save and i'll treat myself to something worth it for my birthday and christmas every year.

Trying to stay 'on trend' will only end up costing the world in clothes that will end up thrown away or still with the tags on.. So I want to start living more minimal when it comes to clothes and invest in more key luxury pieces.

It is better to invest in designer accessories than clothes (with an exception to maybe leather jackets) so a good pair of heels, designer bag or a good item of jewellery will outlast any random dress or t-shirt.

♥

So I will give you some tips on a good place to start for a good mix of clothes for all occasions and some tips on how you can make a good mixture of outfits with them.

This is my opinion of what I could live with if I had to get rid of most of my clothes forever with a combination of these items I can dress for work, to lunch and to run errands.

So the key items are:

• Thick strapped vest tops: Black, white & Grey (and a Khaki or Nude)

• A longline blazer : Black and White.

• Leather jacket : Black.

• Long duster coat : Nude or Pink.

• Black skinny jean : Black.

• Denim ripped jean : Blue and/or Grey.

• Dress shirt : White.

• A good midi LBD.

• A boob tube midi dress : Black and Nude or Khaki. 

• A good pair of shoes : Black and Nude.

• A statement necklace : Gold or Pewter.

• A Clutch bag : Black or a pop of colour.

• A Good lipstick : Red and Nude

♥ 

We all know we are gonna end up buying something every now and then. If you want to expand your closet further but keep to the minimal life you can try:

• Adding some colour with a bright or patterned blazer. 

• Swap a vest for a short sleeve t shirt for winter. 

• Make an plain outfit stand out with a bright clutch bag and shoes combination.

• Try a band t shirt or shirt with a small graphic on for a more relaxed look.

• Experiment with jewellery, hats, lip colours and hairstyles.

♥

Shoes: I have been investing in barely there heels but in a range of different colours, just to change an outfit up easily. I plan to get myself a pair of Louboutin Fifi in black for my birthday because I love the nude ones so much for a closed toe shoe option.

One good pair of trainers is great to throw in the mix so a pair of white converse or adidas superstars are great for a minimal wardrobe.

Vests: I always get my basics vests from Primark or H&M because I find higher end vests tend to get loose after a few washes and just don't sit well on the body. I opt for thick strap vest as I can wear a good bra under it without unsightly bra straps on show which is not a good look ladies. I keep the thin strap ones for under things or bedtime.

Lipsticks: My go to colours are MAC Modesty or Velvet teddy for a nude & Riri Woo or Chilli for a red. 

Jeans: The best jeans I have found so far are Joni or Leigh jeans by TopShop. I love that they stretch and they do the in 3 leg lengths. They do cost around £36-38 each but they are so worth it.

Tube Dress: Tube dresses are great thing to have because you can wear them as a dress, as a maxi skirt or as midi skirt by putting a top over it. 

♥

(prices and details correct at time of publishing. This is not a sponsored post)